Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Waiting for the Ghost

I am sure my children will attest that when it comes to Christmas I have always been a bit of  a Scrooge. But, unlike the character from a Christmas Carol my "Scrooginess" didn't come from a lack of generosity or hardness of heart. My "Scrooginess"  grew out of my being a part of an ancient Christian tradition that views Advent as a solemn season, a penitential season much akin to Lent. This means that by the time I am ready to begin celebrating the The Twelve Days of Christmas, Christmas is all but over for most folks. And, by New Year's Day I am pretty much on my own. Bah Humbug!

Over the last decade it has gotten worse. Not only am I totally out of step with American Civil Religion but I suffer from a  total inability to deal gracefully with all the disruptions I find erupting all around me. The unexpected and out of place run rampant this time of year and navigating my way through all this is most wearisome. The Christmas Season has become a complete and utter assault on my sense of being in the world. The orderly life pattern I need to comfortably function is no match for the suddenly appearing flashing lights, impromptu treats, and parties. Thankfully, I am not so fragile as I once was. The tethers that hold my awareness to my surroundings have become stronger as the years of  living into my "new normal" have come and gone.

Usually by the time Christmas comes I am worn out . . . spent. And, the beginning of the Christmas hoopla creeps earlier each year. It seems to begin as soon as Halloween is over. Ouch.

Here it is not even the middle of December and I am so ready for Christmas to be over: For the "pretty, pretty lights" to cease to glow; for the bell ringers to become clapper-less; and for "Santa Baby" to fall into a very long silent night.

And, now it goes and snows . . . snows too much for me to be able to ride my Symba, but not enough for me to enjoy my snowshoes. Oh bother.

So, please forgive me if I am grumpy and short fused. I am not trying to be a Grinch and steal anywho's Christmas. No, I am just doing the best I can to survive all the Good Cheer around me.

My tradition tells me Advent is a time for waiting. I must say I have that down cold. I am truly waiting . . . waiting for the ghost of one more Christmas past to be born.


  1. I agree with you, it seems to me that every year the Season starts earlier and the chaos becomes more and more frenzied. I sometimes wish that work would last late into the night so that I could commute peacefully alone on the roads. It won't be much longer. GAW

  2. Some years I enjoy Christmas, and some years I'm Scrooge. Not out of stinginess but because I don't want all the hoopla to interrupt my regularly scheduled life. I just want to ride my bicycle and/or motorcycle. I don't want to attend a bazillion events. I certainly don't want to go to any stores - hate shopping in this season. I like getting things for my loved ones, I just don't want to wrestle the hoards to do so. We always do a tree. It's the one thing I like, but It will come down the 26th.

    I celebrate a birthday in December. My gift to me is to not spend my day doing Christmas things. Sorry...geez, what a rant. I do blather on sometimes...

  3. Keep your head down and your family in your heart. I'm not a huge shopper and don't enjoy giving gifts because this holiday dictates it. I try to remember my family and friends throughout the year. If I see something good for them I don't wait to buy it and give it. I don't care for this time of year either because people do forget what it is about and become jerks on the roads and in markets where it is easy to be anonymous. Hug your family and friends close. Keep love in your heart and this too shall pass
    :) -Lori

  4. GAW,
    Thanks for dropping by.

    Fortunately, my secondary street commute is fairly immune to traffic change. But, it hasn't gotten cleared off very quickly either. So, I've been on some major roads. You are right. The crazies are out!

    And, yes it won't be much longer.

  5. My mom's birthday was in December and so is my sister's. Made for a very full month.

    I adore you "blathering". Feel free to rant and blather here anytime :)

  6. Kari,
    Whoops! You are the blathering ranter that the above comment was meant for. But, you probably figured that out. Oh well.

  7. Lori,
    I, too, like to gift people during the year. And, I like to give out presents on my birthday. I don't particularly care to get presents on my birthday, but I do love to gift people.

    Thanks for your comments, they are appreciated.